Nothing Got Me Down Today

Waking up to the ever-so-silent pitter-patter of the raindrops hitting the windowsill felt almost like a greeting from the outside world to me today, with the rain casually dropping by unnanounced, welcoming me. Although the rain remained the entire day, creating a dreary atmosphere, it had zero effect on my mood today - I was completely content and at peace with myself, which I haven't been one hundred percent in a rather long time. And despite the unfortunate weather conditions and having to re-arrange our plans for the day as my dad and me wanted to go ice skating, we had a lovely time together.

Today was the last day with my dad until the Easter holiday at the end of March. We spent as much time together today as we could; simply enjoying each other's company. Nothing got in the way of us having a good time.

Now that I think about it, a lot could have set me off today, leaving me uncomfortable or anxious, but it didn't:

• The fact that I had to be back at the station for both lunch and dinner which I didn't have to last weekend.
• The weather - non-stop rainfall with extreme winds.
• That my dad is leaving tomorrow and I won't see him for a long time.
• That we had to change our itinerary for the day - I can't stand it when things don't go as planned. I've always been organized and loved having a plan, yet it has gotten a lot worse since I've developed anorexia.
• Having nothing planned for the afternoon and being forced to relax. My eating disorder really loathes me when I lounge around and 'am lazy' by not being physically active in one way or another.

The list goes on. As you can see, none of this influenced me today; absolutely nothing; nada.

Instead of going ice skating, my dad and me went to the museum in the morning, visiting and analyzing three beautiful exhibitions - one about Gustav Klimt and Egon Schiele; one focusing on the development of nude art pieces over time and one regarding Japan. All were lovely. In the afternoon, as we had nothing precise planned, we simply relaxed at home by watching the slalom ski race and the ski jump tournament on the television. In both events, an Austrian won - yay - and that was just the icing on the cake for such a perfect day spent with someone I love so insanely much.

I love you dad and I'll see you soon.

Reunion with Daddy

Finally; I saw my father again for the first time since September 30th. Quoting Nelly, a hip-hop artist, whose song I sang at graduation with the rest of my grade, "Today is the day; Is the day that I have always dreamed of."

Cambodia two and a half years ago.

Seeing my dad walk into my room at 1 pm today instantly brought tears to my eyes, and his, if I remember correctly. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy - of happiness. We were finally reunited after having been apart for what seems like eons to me.

The last time he saw me, my condition was a lot worse than now; although my mindset had already changed and I was already tackling my disorder head-on. He had already seen the fighting spirit in me, but now, he could tell how much I've changed; how much I've developed and gotten healthier - although I am still nowhere near healthy, if you know what I mean.

Back in September, I was unable to move - I was on strict bed rest and still had my daily "kitty wash" on the bed as I was too weak to take a shower and my circulation was still too bad. I still had regular infusions back then because my body wasn't able to provide the sufficient nutrients. I also had the two blood transfusions while he was with me. Also, I weighed a lot less than I do now.

Therefore, the tears of joy from him are also a symbol of relief. Now he knows and can see for himself, that I've been successful so far. That I want to live; to return to normality.

I love my dad to death and value his opinion greatly. I had a blast with him today. Seeing my mom and him together for the first time since summer was just the icing on the cake. I loved every minute of today.