The Art of Doing Nothing

Since coming to the hospital, I have worked a lot on myself - all for the better. In the past few weeks so much has happened both physically and mentally that I could fill several novels with every minor victory and positive aspect of my recovery. 

Tonight I want to highlight and focus on the art of doing nothing; the art of taking a break and how difficult that actually is - for me at least. Ever since coming to the hospital, I have been successfully busying myself every second of every day, mainly creatively, because of all the negative thoughts I have had in regards to my eating disorder as well as all the anxiety that builds up within me everyday. By keeping myself occupied, those thoughts, that stress, that anxiety - all of that - diminishes and slowly fades away into non-existence again; just like a negative dream comes to an end and all of a sudden, everything is peaceful once more.

Yet it isn't normal for someone to be constantly working; to be persistently constructing something through creativity; to be perpetually busy. Everyone takes breaks where they have time to collect themselves, to gather their thoughts and just relax. This is something that  I struggle with immensely as it gives my thoughts free flow and I am never sure what to expect.

For the past few days, my ergotherapist has given me homework - to simply do nothing and 'hang loose', as you can say. Throughout the week, I managed a few short breaks with success, but never for a longer period of time. Tonight was different - with no visitors after 5 pm, I had plenty of time to unwind and gather myself and my thoughts; I was able to relax. 

To my surprise, my thoughts did not turn negative in any way and I was really able to let go and simply do nothing.

Benefits of Ergotherapy

Ergotherapy is the treatment of disease, in my case anorexia nervosa, by physical work and recreation. It is therapeutic physical training in a sense that you do something creative. The aim of ergotherapy is to help people design their everyday life and to increase the quality of their life by finding coping mechanisms and ways to deal with one's struggles and problems.

Here in the hospital, I have ergotherapy for 1.5 hours every Monday through Thursday. The amount of options one has to be creative is unimaginable; that's how much there is. There is always something new to try and something to lay one's hands on. There is weaving, knitting, felting, drawing, painting, clay work, creating braided baskets and silk scarves, book binding, etc. Like I said, the choices are endless.

I have already created silk scarves, two woven pieces, a clay bowl for the new kitchen, and this acryllic trial piece below - that I finished today. I am looking forward to tomorrow's session as I started on my acryllic canvas piece and am continuing with it tomorrow.

My acryllic paint trial

Right now, ergotherapy is my favorite therapy session as it allows me to be creative and is a good outlet for me in regards to my thoughts and negative rituals or behaviors that still surface from time to time. Whenever I am down, I focus on the task at hand and start to enjoy myself and what I am doing; completely putting me off my negative thoughts. That's why I am in love with ergotherapy. That and the fact that it allows me to be even more creative.