Friday, December 21, 2012

Cabin Fever

Everything was too much today, resulting in me having a good three hour sob and cry of despair session spread out throughout the day, from dusk until dawn. I could've set back and focused on the positives of the day, but I didn't.

  • I gained weight from Wednesday - that's good, right?
  • Today is the longest night which means that from now on, the days will get longer again.
  • So far, the world still hasn't ended.
  • I am allowed to go on night leave over the weekend.
  • I was able to spend time with my brother.
The list of positives can go on but it wouldn't change me dwelling on having cabin fever.

Because it is the holiday season, many therapy sessions no longer take place; they only start up again the second week of January. This is everything but convenient. For me, these sessions, regardless of what type of therapy was emphasized during the period, were an escape - something that I was able to focus on during the morning and early afternoon until we are allowed to leave the station at 3 pm every day. From today, I can no longer rely on therapy to get me through the day until 3 pm - now I need to find other coping mechanisms and things to do. The problem is that I'm out of ideas as to what I can accomplish.

Being in the hospital since September, I have been quite successful at keeping myself occupied by folding origami, creating friendship bracelets and window colors, blogging and journaling, reading etc. Yet there comes a point when even hobbies become redundant and you are looking for change. Don't get me wrong, I greatly enjoy all the previously mentioned activities, but I need variety.

Through my countless temper tantrums as a result of this 'boredom' - you can call it that - I was able to come up with new interests with the help of my parents. It felt good to get everything off of my chest regarding this cabin fever and the impression that the whole world is collapsing. Together we came up with knitting - perfect for these cold, chilly winter months - learning to play the guitar, and continuing to paint with acrylic colors outside of ergotherapy.

I'm pleased with our ideas, yet am always open to new suggestions. Thoughts anyone?


  1. what about read books? learn a foreign language?
    or simple sit back and enjoy the boredom.
    or go out enjoy the Christmas activities?
    or stay with family? that is what you've been wanting to do? give yourself some time OFF, new ideas will come along. But yes, you do need new focus so you won't dwell on those devils' thoughts :)
    it is new year soon, new journey for you, good or bad it is worthwhile to look forward to. You are right, it is not the end of the world after all.
    RELAX :)
    thumbs up!

  2. What about singing? Is it possible to take singing lessons? Starting a new TV show?

  3. What I seriously recommend - not to cure boredom, but for legit preparation for uni - is READING. SERIOUSLY. Every uni has a preliminary reading list for whatever course (I think) and that will seriously prepare you for your studies. I know you've been doing a lot of reading, but I'm assuming it's of fiction books, but if you're still into engineering (and ESPECIALLY journalism) you should pick up a few books recommended by your uni.