Sunday, December 9, 2012

Reflecting On My Progress Since My Arrival

Tonight I went to visit someone who has become a good friend - let's refer to her as A - of mine down at the intensive station together with my mom. Unlike my mom, I have kept up with regular stop-bys at the intensive station, where I myself lay until October 31, to catch up with A. My mom hadn't been down there since the day of my dismissal at the end of October when I was transferred to my current station, 6B. I could see it in my mom's eyes that it was very strange for her to be back at the intensive station; even if it was just to see someone else. All the memories that surfaced in her mind regarding my state when I was there, my progress, simply everything that was somehow connected to my stay there must have been overwhelming for her.

Incidentally, that deja vu effect - or the reflecting on the past - didn't stop at that. Together with A, we talked about how far I have come since my arrival at the intensive station. My mom recounted a few incidents for me that occurred within the first week that I have absolutely no recollection of. I was in such bad shape physically when I was admitted - I wasn't in a coma per se, but I don't recall the first week at all; nothing, nada. 


  • All my organs were failing
  • I needed to have countless infusions a day
  • My blood count was horrendous, requiring me to get blood transfusions and injections because my white blood cells ceased to exist and there was a severe shortage of red blood cells. 
  • My weight was dangerously low, resulting in a BMI of around 10.3.
  • I was unable to move.
  • All my joints ached.
  • I was fed over the nasogastric tube.
  • I did not consume proper meals.
The list goes on.

Reflecting on my progress, on my journey, and seeing how far I have come and what I have been able to accomplish leaves me feeling good.

The conversation about what I have been through since arriving at the intensive station with my mom and A was hard for me - hearing what I put myself and my body through - yet rewarding at the same time.

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