New Impressions

Being one of the newbies of any station is always scary, at least for me. It consistently causes me anxiety attacks because I am so terrified of what the others think of me: Will they like me? Will they think I'm funny? Will I fit in? Will I stand out because of my international background? Will they like me? 

These questions have been running around inside my head for the last day non-stop. No matter who I talk to, I'm shy and awkward - at least I think I am. I'm deathly afraid of being judged by them; by not living up to certain expectations. I think the reason I am so self-conscious is because I'm still not used to myself and that I can't accept others until I've fully accepted myself for all that I am.

Anyway, today was filled with meeting new people, some of which turn out to be pretty amazing individuals once I got talking. As people know, I'm only very shy, timid and withholding at the beginning when I don't know the person well.

I talked to almost everyone that was here at the station today, exchanging at least a phrase with them - I am so proud of myself for this because I would never approach strangers and say good morning or bon appetit! in the past. I even played a board game with three others: A, B and C. Along with D and E, they are my closest friends here right now - the people I hang out with. It feels good to know that you have others close by that are there for you. For example, one of them promised me that whenever I need something or someone to help cheer me up, that he's here to listen to my problems and play boardgames/do puzzles with me. 

It's people like this that make my stay here more enjoyable :)



** I'm keeping names anonymous for obvious reasons - their privacy; hence the letters.