Saturday, October 20, 2012
Hungry - Major Recovery Win
Funny thing, I was hungry for the first time today, really hungry - my stomach was growling just like a lion does while consuming his prey; the only difference being that i was very impatiently awaiting my meal instead of enjoying it already. It was for lunch. Yes, lunch was later than usual because it turns out that there was a collision with some lunch carts - how that happens, I have no idea - but having hunger signs is a good thing. It's another step in the right direction. I'm so proud of myself. Hopefully I'll soon start to feel these signals again for every meal and not just occassionally. But I have to remember that it takes time.
The day doesn't end there. So much more happened. I completely got my nose tube removed today. I no longer feel like an outcast, an alien with a tube sticking out of its nose. That's no longer me. I now look normal from the outside, just like everybody else, I can finally somewhat fit in again. And because the tube is now gone, I am also successfully eating three ginormous portions for breakfast, lunch and dinner - all of them being served in bed, making me feel like a king - and three high-caloric drinks in between. The amount I consume seems bizarre to me and the thoughts are stronger now that I have these drinks, but rationally I know that it's only for the best. I need these nutrients to nourish my body. I can't let these thoughts take over so I've been occupying myself quite productively I must say. For one, I should really make my own friendship bracelet botique for the amount I finish in a day; these days I am as busy as a bee when it comes to distracting myself. I have mastered the art of that.