Little Things

To start off, today's weather was simply astonishing - the bright and sunny atmosphere instantly created vibes of happiness and positivity that spread throughout this dull and dimly lit hospital room. Having the sun radiate through the window, that are decorated by the most decadent creations of window paintings and mandalas (obviously made by me, haha) that automatically made it a good start to the day for me, as I am one of the lucky ones to be next to a window! 

Regardless of the window, the day didn't falter. In fact, there were so many positive steps today that right now, I actually feel so calm and at ease -  even after all the food i've had to consume; that my body's been rejecting by giving me stomach cramps, headaches and feelings of sickness etc., but i've pushed through it. 

For three days now, i've been having 3 whole meals plus an additional amount via the nose tube, Today I had to eat the biggest portion of, excuse my language, fucking mac and cheese it's ridiculous; but I managed, and that's what counts.

And you know what? Right now, I couldn't give a shit about that, all the food I've eaten and everything related to that. I feel amazing and it's 9 pm. At this very moment, calories, food, anything regarding that matter, is no where near my mind. I think that for right now, I've conquered that little demon inside of me. We'll see how long that lasts. 

I can't be too optimistic as recovery isn't a happy-go-lucky positivity trail that one joins but it does come with ups and downs, just like a rollercoaster does at your favorite amusement park. Currently I seem to be on the highest high I've had so far, I just hope that it lasts.

We'll see what tomorrow brings, but I'm already prepared for a good day because my favorite caretakers and doctors are here :3 Plus my mom is coming.

WHAT UP.