Sunday, September 30, 2012

Words of Wisdom

A good friend once told me a German quote by Theresa von Avila, “Sei freundlich zu Deinem Körper, damit deine Seele Lust hat, darin zu wohnen.” Which, when translated into English, comes to be, “Nourish your body, so that your soul longs to live in it.” This saying, this very valid and important piece of knowledge, should really be taken to heart, like loved ones you adore and only wish the best for, as it is vital that one looks after their mental wellbeing and health. 

It should really be a quote to live by, almost like a life motto, reminding you of the necessity to treating your body correctly to ensure a superb wellbeing overall. This saying should, in fact, expand to become a life lesson, like one of the Ten Commandments that Jesus deemed necessary for living a full-filled life and focused on how others should be treated while not forgetting oneself in the situation. The quote most definitely has become one for me considering what I am going through at the moment. This quote opened my eyes to the healthy relationship between food and your body that I tried to attain at first, but fell victim to a disorder that did more harm than good. It perfectly describes that a health relationship with food is a necessity to feel well and be a in a good place mentally.

I adore, as well as, swear by this saying and my belief in its requisite to follow the information it exudes, is only enhanced by the experience I am currently having to endure; the process of not only gaining my life back, but my health as well, since I fell victim to the terrible disorder known as anorexia nervosa. 

Eating disorders in general, not just anorexia nervosa, the one I suffer from, try to take over one’s mental state and mind by forcefully placing its very powerful, manipulative voice into your mind, that constantly trying to manipulate you, making you give in and accept the demands and ideas set out by that horrid voice, putting your body and health on the line by making them suffer tremendously.

Yesterday was another good reminder to me as to how much truth, knowledge, and wisdom is prevalent in this saying that I have decided to make a focal point in my new room once the apartment is done renovating, making it visible for visitors while simultaneously functioning as a daily reminder to myself as to how each and everyday should start and end , a lot like a school system where a strict set of guidelines that need to be set and followed. As my apartment is currently being renovated, it will be all done and looking fresh and fabulous, like any lady walking down fifth avenue in Manhattan, for when I leave this intensive station with a healthy body and mind, to start my new life in new surroundings - a fresh-start to my new life. Although the voice will remain, like an alarm clock constantly trying to dictate your life’s schedule; only that I will be stronger and not willing to give into it, that nasty little rascal can rot away up there for all I care. When I leave here, I will leave this hospital ready to embrace my whole life in my new surroundings with a new mindset that centers around this powerful quote.

So I’m here to share it with you bloggers out there because I feel that it’s important to inform others just how horrid eating disorders are, as they are often neglected as being a serious illness, but just look at the statistics. According to the South Carolina Department of Mental Health, eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease; 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years and only 30 – 40% ever fully recover. Lastly, 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems. I find it unfathomable how eating disorders are often pushed aside as minor cases; they should generally be taken more seriously like cancer.

All I can share from personal experience is that it is absolutely and one hundred percent correct. If you do not nourish your body correctly, you will not feel well mentally and might even end up depressed. Last night I had a long, agonizing discussion with the doctor from the station. I’ve been placed here, at the best intensive psychiatric ward of the country, not because I’m not cooperating 110 %, but because my body and all its functions are so ruined and damaged, like the most exquisite and marvelous chocolate box you can think of that you accidentally drop on the street an have a car run over them, leaving them with nothing but the remnants, which in my case, were my bones.

I was skeletal beyond belief, so bony, and so malnourished upon my arrival, that it is still unfathomable for me to grasp, even yet I am incapable of looking at pictures of myself at my lowest point; I documented my story with them so I can never stop bawling my eyes by seeing how far anorexia had me in its grasp. Here’s to list of a few of the severe conditions that have resulted from the mistreated my body for so long. Not only did all my organs start to fail, my liver especially, reaching a value of over 1800, where the normal adult range lies between 5-40 IU/L. My kidney wasn’t looking to great either. Due to coagulopathy throughout my body, my stomach and upper legs turned purple. My blood count is still suffering immensely, as I have significant lack of white blood cells, which made the doctor’s question whether I developed leukemia or not. Thanks to an injection of antibodies into my stomach, the white blood cell level rose again. Not that my red blood cells were any better, as I needed to have two blood transfusions done yesterday. Today I will find out of my blood count and whether or not it is getting better. My messed up blood count is so worrisome that I an still on strict bed rest to ensure that I get in contact with as little toxins as possible. While the organs are starting to heal in a very tiring and agonizing process, I have no clue what to say towards my blood count.

So to close off this post, as you can see from my experience, it is vital to nourish and treat your body like a temple to ensure a stable wellbeing. I genuinely hope that you will never fall victim to one. These disorders are detrimental to your health, regardless of the specific one that has chosen to try to destroy your life.

1 comment:

  1. Soooo happy, Hannah, that you interprete that quote from Theresa that wisely and spiritually and let it help you to go forward - step by´re an unbelievably deep feeling girl :-) and I now know and feel that you will manage your life in the right way :-)