Not only was the relatively new patient from yesterday, the one that successfully robbed me of my much needed beauty sleep two nights ago, forced to move into the other jail-like room that presumably looks exactly like the one I am living in for the time being, only that I cannot justify and reassure this theory, unlike Ohm’s Law or Wien’s Law in physics, as I am still on bed rest and have not seen anything else of this station except the room, my home for the time being, well a quarter of it anyway.
Why did I bring physics into the equation you must be wondering? Well, it's because I have started reviewing physics and that’s about the only suitable reason I can think of for the time being if that makes sense.
Regardless, the new arrival from the day before yesterday left my room, thank heavens, to be brought to the other one, where the more severe cases are stationed, those who accept their appropriate treatment the least and are a constant pain in the ass, excuse the language, disrupting the whole station at times; almost like a little kid crying, begging his parents to let him eat anything but that yucky creamy spinach that supposedly makes you as big and muscular as our good old friend Popeye - which we all know is a lie - that he is forced to choke down nonetheless.
As was already brought up, that infuriating rascal was transported to the other room with severe difficulty, as he was transferred there by 6 mighty male helpers while being chained to his bed. None of us three girls were sad to see him leave our humble abode in anyway, as we eagerly awaited the arrival of the new patient at noon yesterday: an elderly lady with severe depression. That is good news for me, although I must say that I hope that the women can see the light at the end of the tunnel as well, because for one, it finally is an all girls room and I will ultimately be able to have my long awaited beauty sleep that keeps me sane and reinforces not only my mentality but strength towards the voice that has made itself at home in my mind as well.
By having gotten a good night’s rest of pure, heavenly sleep in which I lay completely still, fixated on the deep slumber I was in during the night; today already started out splendid. Right now, it is 7 am, everything is still quiet as the morning routing of weighing and measuring pulse, blood pressure, etc. is not until 8, and I am sitting here, jotting down my thoughts like I always do; it has become almost like a ritual. A ritual I enjoy.
During one’s sleep, your mind stores all necessary information that happened the previous day, reinforcing you that you made the right choice by accepting recovery. It therefore cannot be unfathomable, that it is immediately a better day mentality wise when I get a good night’s rest, ridding my mind of all horrid thoughts.
I am currently relaxing on my bed, listening to non other than Ed Sheeran, who is also a comfort to me when I’m feeling down. As I got a solid ten hours of undisturbed, heavenly sleep, it left me clear minded regarding to where I stand with recovery as well as the feeling of being reinvigorated too.
The sun is slowly starting to greet me with its wonderful presence on this generous autumn day, that when I look outside my window I can see the sunlight reflect off of the leaves that are slowly turning to a mixture of reds and yellows, away from the green, symbolizing that change is coming. And I could not agree more, as this change is not only occurring in nature, but with me as well. I am getting healthier and stronger day by day and will soon be able to stop being fed via the nose tube, as my organs are still not completely up to par with all their functions. Yet they are getting better as I am nourishing my body and I actually cannot await the day they do. I earnestly ask the doctors on a daily basis, but their comments always end up something like this, “you are getting there soon, we (doctors) discuss it amongst us everyday but the damage that you have put your body through requires a slow and steady process to hopefully successfully avoid as many complications as possible.” Regardless, I am eager, like a toddler awaiting to open his ginormous stack of gifts that he is more than capable of hiding behind as a whole, anticipating the day I can eat real food again.
Being woken by the sun is a glorious thing and I had the pleasure of that today, naturally putting me in a good mood and mindset - that’s the most important aspect. With today’s excellent start to the day, I’m sure that the rest will be just as pleasant and my mindset will only get stronger as the day progresses and comes to a close, diminishing and drowning that horrid voice.
To add onto today’s already long list of positivity is the reality that my father is arriving in Vienna this afternoon and staying for the weekend. I have been apart from my close family for so long, that I wholeheartedly await the moment he walks through the door to greet me this late afternoon; eagerly anticipating the moment, like a puppy salivating and anxiously waiting for his goodies after having learned a new trick - to roll over.
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| My 'little' brother and me |
To top it off, it’s my brother’s sixteenth birthday today; the sweet sixteenth that everyone awaits. Although I’m sad that I’m not there in Tokyo beside him, I know he’ll have a blast, he always does. I’ll be thinking of him all day. My God, sixteen years! My little brother’s growing up! I hope that my amazing, I must admit, presents make up for my lack of presence. Don’t get too crazy tonight Kle and we definitely need to re-celebrate when I see you next. Hope Tokyo isn’t made to unsafe tonight! I love you to death and I don’t know what I’d do without you, really. You give me so much strength during this whole process. I really hope that your sixteenth birthday is a BLAST. Enjoy it.
All these wonderful events are occurring today, so there is no need for me to be negative in anyway. That voice can go hide in a corner for all I care, as today is a day of celebration and sheer positivity. How about that ED? Yeah, thought so.
Beautifully written
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