A Big Sigh of Relief

Yesterday I mentioned going to bed feeling very tense, uneasy and anxious at the thought of today's weigh-in because of my dilemma. Well, it's over now and I'm still here; standing tall - both figuratively and literally, haha.

This morning was horrid. I was shaking stepping onto the scale and had my eyes shut tightly out of fear. Slowly gaining enough courage, I gradually open first my right and then my left eye, staring at the number. Thankfully there was no drastic change; my weight didn't plummet - it stayed the same. It was as if my prayer's had been answered because the last time I had an upset stomach, I was put on station lockdown as I had lost weight; but not this time. In my head, I immediately started doing a happy dance. A huge sense of relief spread all over my body and I was ready to face the day.

Another incredibly positive outcome of today is that my mom arrived back from Germany tonight. She is now back for the time being. It's good to have my mommy back, I've missed her tremendously.

Scared of Tomorrow

I don't want tomorrow to come; I'm deathly afraid of tomorrow morning - of the weigh-in. I contracted diarrhea today and am scared that it will have influenced my weight significantly. I told the helpers today about my dilemma and they gave me some medicine, yet I am still unsure of what tomorrow will bring. I am restless right now. I don't want a number to control how my day will turn out, but I'm really hoping for the better. Whenever my weight plummets, the doctor's said that I will have a station lockdown, like previously.

It's amazing how one little thing can affect you; how much influence it has over you. For me, right now, it's a big dilemma having diarrhea because it means that my body isn't keeping any of the valuable nutrients that it needs to rebuild itself. It's anything but good.

Hopefully the medicine will work it's magic.

I'm going to sleep feeling uneasy and agitated; I hope that tomorrow I can look at the situation from a new perspective.