Not What I Expected

Excuse the lack of posts lately, I just haven't been feeling too great. Especially after yesterday's doctors visit. I was told that I can't go home for a few days over the holidays; I need to stay here, at the hospital. I thought that I would at least be able to leave for a few days. I'm sick of constantly being in the hospital and living in these surroundings - it's been bugging me a lot because let's face it, I've been stationed here since the end of August - that's almost four months. I simply wanted to spend just a few days at home with my whole family.

I keep telling myself that the doctor's are conscious of their decision and know what is best for me and my recovery. Maybe I'm not ready yet, who knows? Maybe they don't want my progress to be hindered in any way and are trying to protect me from my inner demons like this. What I am allowed to have is several night outings not only from Saturday to Sunday but during the week as well. The therapy will be limited as well, as it is the holiday season soon so most days I would also be able to spend the entire day outside and solely come back here to the station to sleep.

It's not ideal but it'll have to do. I have to start wrapping my head around the idea; I can't keep denying that I will get a longer leave. 

Although it's pretty much all clear as to what I will be allowed to do during the holiday season, I am asking tomorrow at the doctors round what exactly it entails for me. I want to know the specifics so that I can mentally prepare myself better for my stay.